Bnz wants to send a big thanks to Donna-Maria Harris and Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Jennifer L. Rounds-Bryant for sharing some ugly facts about human behavior. Dr. Bryant has defined these ugly facts in five basic parts. Dr. Bryant skillfully translates complex behavioral concepts and theories into everyday language for everyday people.
Ugly Fact #1 – Men Don’t Like Kids!
The Ugly Fact is that men have made it clear that they certainly do not like the work of children. This message is illustrated in history, everyday life, popular culture, and research. Despite their exquisite ability to avoid the burden of direct child care, dads still feel a void when they see that their children have a closer bond with mom.
Research highlights the importance of taking care of children on their own terms in order to develop a close emotional relationship with them. The good news is that children benefit from all positive interactions with dad, and dad can also experience considerable emotional closeness with his children if he chooses to get off the parenting bench and stay in the game.
Ugly Fact #2 – Family Members Support Alcohol and Drug Addiction!
Addiction to alcohol and drugs is an all-consuming family condition. Addiction occurs when the brain is hijacked by alcohol and drugs, rendering the addict a captive of the addictive process. The Ugly Fact is that family members often unwittingly support alcohol and drug addiction, despite their best intentions.
The support comes in the form of hiding the addiction and rescuing the addict from the natural negative consequences of his behavior. Family members have an important role in the recovery process, but need to be mindful that they do not fall into the role of supporting addiction while trying to support recovery.
Ugly Fact #3 – People Do Not Change Other People!
It is true that people do the things they do because there is some benefit in it. There is power in reinforcement and punishment, but there is greater power in long-established behaviors. Therefore, there is no getting around the Ugly Fact that people do not change other people. People change when they decide to change, and they do so according to a lengthy process. A popular model of behavior change is called the Transtheoretical Model of Change, which involves five stages ranging from Pre-Contemplation to Relapse Prevention.
Ugly Fact #4 – Domestic Violence is an Equal-Opportunity Killer!
The bottom line is that if someone is experiencing domestic violence, the situation will not change significantly in a short period of time. The Ugly Fact is that domestic violence is an equal-opportunity killer. Women decide to stay in domestic violence situations for all kinds of reasons, but they do so at the peril of themselves and their children. It is imperative that everyone understands that children suffer from witnessing domestic violence as much as if they were experiencing it themselves.
Ugly Fact #5 – People Ruin Their Own Lives!
Despite the common belief that others or external circumstances are the cause of people’s unhappiness, the Ugly Fact is that people ruin their own lives. While it is easier to blame sources outside of ourselves, it is far more powerful for people to take responsibility for their own happiness. It belongs to them anyway, whether they accept it or not.
There are two ways that people ruin their own lives: rewarding negative behavior towards them, and falling under the influence of fear as negative reinforcement. The second scenario is often manifested as fear of failure and fear of abandonment.
Dr. Bryant has over 17 years of experience in clinical health treatment, behavioral research, professional training and adult education. Dr. Bryant’s clinical concepts and academic social science theories come from a vast array of backgrounds and institutions including: North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Duke University Medical Center, Research Triangle Institute, Federal Bureau of Prisons, North Carolina Department of Corrections, National Development and Research Institute, Capella University, and the University of Phoenix.
For more information and professional references concerning human behavior, log on to www.5uglyfacts.com